Transform Customer Engagement by Understanding Social Styles

Understanding social styles empowers business owners to transform customer engagement and also employee engagement.

Many Social Style Models exist, but the Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix is a favourite of mine due to its simplicity and profound impact on my life.

To boost customer engagement, it’s crucial to understand their preferred social style.

Mismatched communication styles can lead to:

We all have unique preferences and communication styles. A “one-size-fits-all” approach simply doesn’t work and can lead to increased costs and decreased profits.

As mentioned earlier, the Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix’s simplicity is what I find most appealing.

Simplicity trumps complexity, especially when aiming to improve communication and customer engagement.

The matrix proposes four fundamental social styles:

Remember, most people exhibit a blend of characteristics, especially in different situations. However, they typically have a dominant, preferred style.

Knowing your own style, along with your key customers’ and employees’ styles, can be a significant advantage if you want to increase engagement.

Here’s an outline of the qualities associated with each Social Style in the Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix:

Remember, people may display various characteristics depending on the situation or role. However, they will still have a preferred style.

The first step to improving customer engagement, (or employee engagement), is to understand your own default style. There’s no right or wrong answer here.

Once you understand your style, identify your customer’s or employee’s default style.

The magic happens when you adapt your communication style to theirs.

For example, if you’re an Expressive communicator (enthusiastic, creative, and seeking emotional connection), an Analytical individual (who values data, details, and logic) might not engage or listen unless you adjust your style and focus on what matters to them.

Similarly, a Driver (focused on the big picture) can easily get frustrated with someone who is Amiable (relationship-oriented) or detail-oriented.

Earlier, I mentioned the profound impact the Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix had on my life. Like many from my generation, I had limited formal education and no exposure to psychology or customer engagement concepts.

During a night school sales course, I encountered the Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix for the first time. I was a young and inexperienced manager in finance, struggling with a seasoned businessman in his late 60s who was my biggest client. Our meetings were consistently unproductive and often ended poorly.

One day, he bluntly stated, “Bruce, we just don’t get on, and I’m exploring other financiers.” My response, “Fair enough,” reflected the resignation I felt.

That evening, attending the sales course, I felt a pang of guilt about the failing relationship with the client. After class, I explained the situation to the lecturer.

He asked questions about the meetings, the client’s personality, and his communication style. He then delivered a striking statement: “Based on your description, your communication style is essentially pouring kerosene on a fire with this customer.”

Surprised, I enquired further. He pulled out a diagram, a basic version of the Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix.

The lecturer explained the matrix and concluded, “From what you’ve shared, your client is a classic Driver. He’s a big-picture person, uninterested in minute details. Yet, you’re communicating in a way he finds incredibly frustrating.”

He suggested mirroring the client’s communication style (verbal and body language) to salvage the relationship. Though doubtful, I thought, “I have nothing to lose.”

During the next meeting with the client, I adopted the lecturer’s suggestion.

While the initial atmosphere remained tense, I persisted, mirroring the client’s style and language.

After a while, an awkward silence emerged, we looked at each other and burst out laughing..

I said, “Jim, I understand details can be frustrating for you, but I need that information to get your finance approved.”

Jim paused and replied, “Bruce, I don’t have that information readily available. Why don’t you just ask my accountant?” (An approach that hadn’t even occurred to me, highlighting my inexperience.)

The Merrill-Reid Social Style Matrix opened my eyes to a whole new world of understanding customer and employee relationships. 

By adjusting my communication with Jim, our relationship transformed completely.

From then on, I solely communicated with him in terms of the big picture and his preferred style.  The remaining details I sought from his accountant or employees.

The shift in our relationship was remarkable. Despite our significant age difference and differing personalities, we developed a fantastic business relationship.

This experience ignited a passion within me to understand human behaviour and communication for effective motivation. 

It transformed the way I approached customer engagement and motivated employees. I also found it helpful when I later moved into marketing.